The Gay Marriage Solution

I remember my wedding day. It was a spiritual day. It was an eternally significant, transcendent day. I arose that day a man with a fiance, and awoke the next forever different, a married man with a wife. At the wedding ceremony, my family was there, my friends were there, my pastor was there, my bride was there, the Holy Spirit was there... God was there. My government was not there. I said my vows, gave my beautiful bride a ring, said 'I Do' and planted my lips firmly upon hers.

What makes you married? Who decides if you are married?

I love being married (usually). I intend to stay married. There are only two people on this planet that could ever make me be not married, my wife or myself. No one else gets a say as to what my marital status is. If the government said I was not married, they would be wrong. Married is now part of the fabric of what I am; this is a spiritual truth more real than the blood in my veins.

My marriage is not a piece of paper.

I got a piece of paper the day I was married. Some people made me go sign it. It was after the wedding was over. I was already married. I had other things on my mind to do, but I did what I was supposed to and signed the little piece of paper. Had I not signed the little piece of paper, I would have still been married.

I don't even remember exactly what that fancy little piece of paper looked like. I do remember it reminded me of my college diploma, a symbolic thing commemorating something significant has already occurred, but its existence seemed purely superfluous. I don't go home and kiss these pieces of paper. Had I not received these pieces of paper, I would be just as educated, and just as married.

So why do we get worked up about these pieces of paper the government gives you when you get married, and whether or not gay people should be able to get these little pieces of paper too? Why are we having all these debates? The government didn't make me married; it was a personal, spiritual experience. Why do gay people want the government to make them married?

The answer is painfully obvious. We care because that little paper we sign when we marry gives us stuff, including special rights and privileges from the government. We get to pay less on taxes. We get automatic transferable property rights. We get treated differently by our government, and other institutions, often to our advantage.

Here's my revolutionary solution to this debate... brace yourselves:

Our government should treat ALL adults the same, regardless of marital status. Marriage is a religious issue and not to be defined by government.


There's this false notion going around that America is a Democracy when it's not. It's a Republic. In a pure Democracy the 51% gets to rule by force over the 49%. In a Republic, we respect the rights of all people according to the Rule of Law, our Constitution, and Bill of Rights. Your rights are considered inalienable (given to you by God and not man), and not to be given or taken by the whims of the mob.

In my opinion BOTH SIDES of the gay marriage issue are approaching this topic according to this false premise. With nation nearly equally split on their opinions there's a huge culture war waging and battle lines being drawn. It need not be this way.

Evangelical Conservatives want to permanently ban gay marriage at a Federal level. But where, oh Conservative, in the Constitution is the Federal Government given this power? Are you willing to abuse the Constitution when it suits your religious beliefs?

Liberals and gays want to permanently, at the Federal level, give gays the 'right to marry', and force compliance from every church, pastor, and state, regardless of any objections by  individuals, states or churches. But where, oh liberal, is your right to force your beliefs on churches, and override their core belief systems and thousands of years of history and tradition?

I believe if you reformed the tax code, and other government benefit programs to give NO ADVANTAGE TO ANYONE based on being married, single, gay, or straight; instead treating all adults equally under the law and not meddling in religious institutions (which marriage is), we could ALL retain our freedom and dignity.